McFly drummer Harry Judd and his wife, Izzy, have shared a heartfelt glimpse into life as parents of a neurodiverse child living with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) — a condition often associated with autism that makes it hard for individuals to accept even simple daily demands.
Izzy, 41, who shares three children with Harry — Lola Rose, nine, Kit, eight, and Lockie, four — revealed on Dr Alex George’s Stompcast podcast that the diagnosis has completely changed the way they approach parenting. “From the moment a child wakes up, they’re being told to eat, to get dressed, to brush their teeth,” she explained. “All these anxieties build up because people are constantly placing demands on them.”
The former Britain’s Got Talent finalist admitted she’s had to “flip” her parenting approach. “They don’t respond to authority or hierarchy. They want autonomy; they want to be in control. I don’t even say things like ‘I’ve left your clothes out’ anymore, because that’s still a demand — and demands can trigger anxiety.”
Izzy also reflected on the emotional toll of parenting a neurodiverse child. “At first, I felt the judgement really heavily,” she said. “You have to go through a kind of grief process when things aren’t as you imagined. For a neurodivergent child, sitting still isn’t defiance — it’s just something they physically can’t do.”
The couple have also chosen to skip kids’ birthday parties due to the overwhelming social expectations. “Birthday parties are hugely challenging,” Izzy confessed. “So a long time ago, I thought: why are we doing this? No one’s enjoying it. We also tell them what’s in a wrapped gift because the surprise itself can be too stressful.”
Izzy called for schools to provide more inclusive support for children like hers, saying: “Our classrooms aren’t really inclusive. Sometimes all it takes is one or two teachers who truly understand your child — and that can be the difference between them managing or not.”
